About Me

THE JACK OF ALL TRADES.

PROFESSIONAL DIGITAL COMMUNICATOR: WRITER, DESIGNER, PHOTOGRAPHER, VIDEOGRAPHER, ACTOR, SINGER, ARTIST.

SWIMMER, YOGI, POET, PERSONAL TRAINER, STUDENT, AND TAROT READER; ON THE SIDE.   

BOOKINGS

CONSULT YOU FOR WHAT? 

EVERYTHING! WETHER YOU NEED HELP CREATING AN ONLINE PRESENCE, GETTING YOUR S**** TOGETHER, LOOSING WEIGHT,  OR GUIDANCE, I CAN HELP!

FOR AN INDIVIDUAL: I CAN NOT OFFER ANYTHING. THE PROCESS BEGINS WHEN YOU IDENTIFY A NEED FOR CHANGE. I OFFER A TAROT READING. IDEALLY JUST THE ONE TIME. FROM THERE YOU CAN MOVE FORWARD AND TACKLE CHANGE HEAD ON. 

BOOK HERE! 

** ON DEMYSTIFYING TAROT **

YOU DON'T NEED ME OR TAROT. TAROT IS NOT GOD, ITS NOT THE DEVIL. TAROT IS JUST SYMBOLIC IMAGES ON CARDSTOCK. 

PERSONALLY I TAKE A MORE MODERN JUNGIAN APPROACH TO THE TAROT. AND AS MUCH AS I WOULD LOVE TO TYPE AT 100 WPM AND RANT ABOUT MY PERSONAL VIEWS ON RELIGION, PHILOSOPHY, MODERNITY: NO ONE CARES, JAJA, OR AT LEAST I DON'T (ENOUGH TO ACTUALLY DO IT). 

GOD IS IN US, AND WE ALL NEED GOD. 

EVEN ATHEISTS MUST REALIZES THAT THEIR LIVES ARE BIGGER THAN THEMSELVES. 

THE TRUE NIHILIST: LIVES CARE-FREE, ONLY WHEN THEY TRULY BELIEVE THAT NOTHING MATTERS.  

** My Philosophy **

PREFACE: I AM CHRISTIAN. 

I do not believe anything is a coincidence. I am a Christian because I was born Christian and into Christianity. Although I spent many years not accepting Christianity, I've come to realize that it's my own personal path of least resistance. Those years of not accepting Christ were not in vain; as through my blessing of immense curiosity, I have been able to explore religion in its totality through secular life. 

I am here to relate the obvious: There's only 1, or 0: God is both, and the infinite between the opposites.  

  I fear no evil, for Christ has taken the burden of judgment.  I could take accountability, and I do, but Jesus will always shield us from God's vengeance. 

I do not praise Jesus. We hold hands, and sing in harmony, to our Lord. 

I. CHRISTIANITY: THE PATH OF LEAST RESISTANCE

Have you read The Old Testament? God can be scary, is incomprehensible. Through revelations, I came to understand that. 

Christ is easy. He is the son of God, but we are also his children. Jesus is a big bro for anyone who is Christian. He's the hippie, super-star athlete, older brother. We are the shitty turd siblings. Our relationship with Jesus is like this: 

A young man returns home from college. His parents are upset because his younger sibling stole money from their wallet. He just watches as his sibling gets yelled at. He is reminded of being 10, his sibling 5, and the same thing happened. 

At that time the lil sibling just stole a couple of cents for the ice cream truck. No one noticed, until they returned with two popsicles. The two sat and enjoyed the treat, when a parent comes in. 

Jesus intuitively admits to stealing. We watch him get punished, a horror so gruesome for our ignorant innocence. A scene we only remember as hot, watery, dark, and boogery. We forget everything but the image of our hands shielding our eyes as time passes. 

The older brother always brings something for his sibling. 

This time he is surprised to see his sibling at the door, waiting for him, with snacks in his hands. 

II. THE CROSS: JESUS AND I: JESUS DIED FOR OUR SINS. 

Arbitrary lines are drawn to de-unify Christian from the pillar of our belief: Christ died on the cross for our sins. 

Christianity should be malleable. Fundamentally, Christianity is spiritually unnecessary, it is merely a tool. There are many ways to follow the path towards God, with or without a religion. For me Christianity is a spiritual bridge, that would be easier for me to simply walk on. 

If you're not Christian, I do not want to convert you. Again, there is just God, and many of us realize that. My path is not of the crusader. 

III. SIN, CONTROVERSY, DEATH, THE DEVIL: MYSELF

War in the name of religion is an Earthly constant, the most gruesome manifestation of our ego meeting sin. War is because we allow it; God allows us. 

War will forever be a scar in the human psyche. Today it is an open wound that never heals- because once a scab forms we pick at it. So used to it we have become that the pain is barely present, and we can't imagine not having an open wound because it's just part of our body. 

Should God bandage us up? Is that his responsibility? Would you not feel hopeless helping those who don't want it?

The Jews are God's chosen people. I say this cause of the Bible. Christ has made it possible for this distinction to be irrelevant, I say this cause of the Bible. 

They faced genocide, multiple times, and each time our society has advanced. Thanks to Jewish scientist united with Christians, we are now able to watch on live, the Israeli state attempt their own genocide of Palestinians. 

We are relieving history, but increasingly what is concerning is a global sense of hopelessness and the temptation to hold on to the evil ways of the past. 

All of us were born of sin. To be human, is to have freedom. The freedom to sin, or the freedom to unite back with God. All other distinctions are outdated. 

What saddens God is Jews and Christians uniting to commit the ultimate sin. The sin that God has saved them from before. 

I give a fuck about others, at appropriate times. Do you? Let's be grateful that God has allowed us to be observers, and pray none of have to be part of the Devil's game. 

I am scared to die for man, fearless will I be, when God beckons me.

IV. JESUS: THE BEST BIG BRO

Notice I did not say (blank) people. Jews. Christians. Muslims. 

We are people. We are God's children. 

We have scientifically proven that we are all slightly imperfect versions of the same DNA. We like to fixate on the few genes that we don't share. 

For our ego, it is easier for us to accept that we are 60% banana than to say we are 99.99% similar to all men. 

V.  A NEW ERA ( THE ACTUAL CONTROVERSY: Empathy)

WE HAD TO DISCOVER PARTICLES AND WAVES TO PROVE WHAT EVERY EASTERN PHILOSOPHER HAS TAUGHT: EVERYTHING IS ONE. 

The New Era will begin when we accept that Jesus will not return. Jesus has accomplished his goal. God has always made him irrelevant, for Jesus' goal was to unite us with God, not with Jesus Christ. 

Can you not see your cozy life as the promised land of your ancestors? With each passing generation we get the choice to reach closer to God or distance ourselves towards our ancestors. Christianity is malleable; the promise of salvation is not always required. God can guide us without Christ. For Christians, we can save ourselves because Christ remains alive in society, as hard as the Devil might try to convince us otherwise. 

I am a Christian because it is easily the most palatable way to express my personal spiritual path. If I was born Muslim, I would still praise the same God. 

I do not care about myself enough anymore to align away from Christianity. I was born to a Christian family, in a country where that is the dominant religion. I thank God, for my path is not that of Jesus', of the martyr. 

We all know saying your Christian means nothing, However, to say you're not Christian is worse than openly admiting your racist in modern society. 

I am grateful to be a man, born Christian into a Christian society. I am fortunate that I do not have to question my relationship with my physical being, religion, and our patriarchal society. I feel for the women who bravely decide to wear a hijab in the United States. I am grateful that I personally do not have to make that choice. We can not progress as a society without realizing that our ideals are not by choice, but to act on it is. 

No one would want to be born Black in the United States. But Black Americans know that "black american" are just random words to describe actual people. If Black people were actually as subordinate as white people tried to brainwash them to be, we would all still be using those other random words to describe them, Tried, because I am happy to say that every Black person I know loves that they're Black. This comes after being born and raised into a country that itself, was born and raised through racism; a country that continues to openly fight for racism and for the profit it brings. 

A white child is placed on a pedestal, this is the reality. This pedestal remains through to adulthood; however this pedestal is eroding. 

Religion has been used to spiritually enslave all of us, the history of Black Americans is just the most literal and clear manifestation. The irony being that George believed he was as holy as King George, so why should he have to pay him taxes? 

God is the world's unifier. Christ is the U.S.A's unifier. 

Bro, I'm just a Mexican that was not born in Mexico. Y'all can figure that shit out between y'allselves. Shiii, even now I'm more Tejano than Texan. A race war breaks out, my ass is gone. 

The easiest thing is to not care. 

I could be racist, like I could be an atheist. But I grew up around Black people, so it's easy for me not to be racist. I am grateful that I never hated the color of my skin because it felt like everyone wanted me to.  

The year is 2025, at some point we have to realize that our actions have consequences. You fricks! 

As a proud Christian, if anyone tells you that being a Christian is hard nowadays: the devils speaks through them, cloaks their sin in wool to bring all an immense comfort, his warmth crawls up to the eyes, curses the wearer so they might only see a lamb in their reflection. 

The anti-Christ is not born but indoctrinated through apathy and ego. 

VI. The End Times are Now: Lookin ahhh booiii....  

The mark of the Beast, the descendants of Cain, evil and sin our integrated into us. The difficult part is wiping it off and resisting the temptation to let it be. Especially in a world where those in power are guided by infinite gain in a finite reality. 

It's easy to be Christian, yes. 

It's hard to break the curse that blinds all of us, for it is the shit that we toil to polish, the cave we were born into. 

VII. But I'm just a [REDACTED] 

You know what I love? Penetrating other men. If I did not piss myself in front of hot girls or raise my voice an octave to shield my ego of rejection. Maybe I would get some pussy. But fucking men is easy. 

Is this sinful of me? 

Many would say yes. But have you tried being a loser man who can't get pussy, or purposefully abstinent regardless of gender? It can literally make you irrational to deny yourself of sex. 

If I told you I love penetrating women, is that a sin? No because we all accept that as natural for a man to say. 

I knew I was attracted to men by the age of 5, after watching a Lifetime movie where a young gay man is driven to suicide by his family. 

I realized I was gay not because I was attracted to some hot guy, but because I could die for calling another boy pretty. 

I could have chosen to never have sex with another man, denied myself of exploring that. Many men take this path and two things happen: you live a lie, and externalize the internal. Killing someone for being gay is a sin. Hating is a sin. Lying and manipulating is a sin. 

Sexuality and gender are incomprehensible. Be grateful if you've never had to question either. Fascist Christians, Cain's descendants, argue that HIV and AIDS was created by God to cleanse the earth of sinful homosexuals. The reality is sex and the constant  desire for it is natural, and is quite literally a driving force for our existence. Sex is demonized, if straight people could they would be fucking way more. Sex can become sinful when a "hole is a hole." Sex is divine when two souls unite. 

From my spiritual standpoint: HIV is now God's friendly reminder to gay people to chill out and take care of yourself first. AIDS, however came at a time where we were torn, some of us content in the cave of society, others yearning for a world of immense freely flowing and fiery love. AIDS made being gay no longer a choice or a secret easily concealed. God made our choice for us. 

Be not afraid, God is abrasive but the Devil in all humans is corrosive. 

Can we as a society accept homosexuality, as the natural slight abnormality and the unconscious form of population control that it is. 

Probably not real, but as far as we know about 10% of us are all the way gay. I'm not part of that 10%, or the 90% that claim to be completely heterosexual, are you?   

"I love my dead gay son," is easier for a lot of people to say. It's sick to say, but our evil society needed to see their children die for love. 

I'm not gonna yearn for the days we shat openly on the streets; but I'm grateful that, after exploring my gender identity, I don't have to make a choice between shitting myself or getting hate-crimed. 

Sin and evil are constants, but we will always be God's children. At the end of the day we're all going to die. Do you want to regret not loving someone enough? Do you want to live a life where being slightly miserable is normal? Does God give you the strength to look at the Devil's barrel, grasp the gun, and make it your last meal?   

VIII. DON'T KYS, UR 2 SEXY 

I'm not scared of death. I don't want to die. God loves me. 

I'm scared of life. I want to die. God hates me. 

IX. His Blood turned to Wine

If I may but touch his garment, I shall be whole. 

X. The Lonely Procession: My Testimony Begins

Life is hard bruh, to say I've been going through it would be an understatement. I was born spiritual, other's are not. If you love your little life, keep being grateful for it without being attached to anything and you're already more enlightened than I am. I am a filthy American, I want more, I'm aware and smart enough to now that I can achieve greatness. With no job and no money I changed my life and faced the consequences of living alone and unemployed. 

I live day by day. I had bills past due. I pulled a tarot card. 

THE HANGED MAN

I read and read. I walked and thought. The revelation I received was that of sacrifice. A necessity for God's favor. We're not heathens, and killing is a sin, whether it's a human or not we must never take another life. 

So how do we sacrifice in the name of God? We embrace sacrifice. We do it all the time, to do one thing means to not do another. I grabbed clothes I wanted to sell and donated them. I put on a cute old money type of outfit, made of materials too heavy for the 80 degree day.   

I kept walking, hoping to find a forgotten hundred dollar, or something. My phone died. I had no food or money, but who cares cause I'm fasting too. I was thirsty, my feet more moist than my tongue. 

In January, I moved a street away from the home of my infancy without knowing it. I ended up on that street and walked through it til I got lost. The sun went down and all I had were tear stains from memories not my own, and a blister on my left middle toe.   

XI. The Bride Waits, She says:

You want the world, you want to be everything, you want and you want. The day I fell in love with you was the day you acknowledged me. You showed me the cruelty of evil is separation. I love you always, but I will never ignore myself for you, so I rested.  

We were never apart, or out of love. I like Javi, it reminds me of Navi. Our love is that of fairytales, for when you told me wake up, I did and our adventure began- as two strands intwined, from the infinite scalp of God, through to the cells of your fleshy body. 

XII. My Wedding at Rothko: The Actual Testimony 

I went out with the intent to manifest money and ended up with great spiritual fulfillment. But my account, fridge, and stomach were all still empty. I am spiritual, sometimes even magical, but I want to be it always.

I sat outside of Rothko Chapel the next day. Although it was my planned destination yesterday, it was not my destiny. This day it was. 

With an empty stomach I passed an old lady sitting near the entrance as I made my way towards a bench, adjacent to a corner made by two garden fences.  Being on a spiritual path is lonely and tiring, I wanted to ask this random elder for advice, but felt it not my place. 

So God being the greatest playwright, turned my life into a scene from Forrest Gump. Me and this old Filipino lady talked about life, love, God, money, as she shared her candy wrapped in golden foil with me.

It was a very personal and intimate moment, but it felt like a movie scene that could be hopelessly analyzed for decades- with so many foreshadowing details that only the creator fully grasps the meaning. 

XIII. The Bible 

"The bible holds everything you ever need to know," she told me.  

As someone who has always believed in the universality in all religions, to hear this was strange. I'm over here learning about eastern philosophy, looking for spiritual guidance. God loves good irony, don't we all: so he sends this lil old Asian lady that did the exact opposite. This is not me or God, or this lil ol' Asian lady, denying all non Christian religions at Rothko. What it was: two people spiritually connected through Christ, becoming vessels to affirm our wandering souls. Living requires embracing adventure. Faith elimates the fear of ever being lost. 

XIV. Jesus 

The Bible, The Old Testament, is the foundational text for all modern western religions. So why Jesus? I believe my personal mission is to follow in the footsteps of Christ. God has revealed to us, at some point the meaning of our existence. The truth is we're never lost, but we are navigating a world that has been built to keep us stuck. Like a dead-end maze trail, we paid to be in, we have fun being lost, until fear kicks in.  

I could waste time planning the perfect escape route, or I can embrace the fact that my spirit paid to get lost here and have fun. 

Have you read the Old Testament? God is not all loving, he will smite your ass, quickly. God is also all knowing, not all giving a fuck. 

Jesus, for those who accept Christianity, is the chillest, easiest religion to follow. Did I choose it? Not at first, but the relationship between myself, Jesus, and God is too beneficial to not take advantage. Jesus is my spiritual admin, my sin trashcan, and God's hype-man that I hired. 

I could choose another religion yes, but I don't want to research and implement an entire new philosophy. That's way too much, when I can do whatever I want in this silly little spec I call my life. 

The Anti-Christ is ever present. Christ gives us the freedom to live without fear of sin, for all has been forgiven. The Devil uses this against us, as we literally built prisons and call them shelters. 

Christ does not give us the freedom to do whatever we want, God does. Christ tells us that we all have a divine plan that will be followed, our actions are mere illusions of freedom. Christ gives us the strength to stand up to our oppressors; so we are given true freedom: the ability to walk safely on our divine path, or wander without fear. 

Jesus was born Jewish. If he wasn't Jesus Christ, maybe he would have doubted his own religion at some point too. If he wasn't born Jewish, there would be no Jesus Christ. 

XV. Anti-Christ: Ego

  Not to be a jungian ass foo, but the Ego is the root of all evil. It keeps me too scared to post this, so badly, all this text in one sitting is a miracle. The reality is I've wanted to share this with everyone since birth. 

The old Filipino lady was disabled, unable to walk for years. Yet she came and left on foot. Why was she unable to walk? Cause she overextended herself as a friend, she was too helpful, and because of it she lost the ability to walk for years. This wonderful Christian lady relayed something that I have known for years: friendships are great but everyone has boundaries.  

God knows you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. But it's God, he will make you drink that water if that's what he wants, or he'll let you die of thirst. 

We are here because of our egos, because we love to embrace ourselves and our individuality. The ego is not evil, it just is another one of God's divine creations. It is the unique way God chooses to express himself and his infinite imagination. It is God's ego, the evil comes when we use the ego to dettach and inevitably get lost within ourselves.  

The ego is a bridge, God's greatest gift to man is handing us the switch that allows us to open or close minds. The Devil makes us doubt the timing. God has given us this switch cause he trusts us to solve this metaphysical trolley problem. 

XVI. Burn the Witch, the Bitch, and that Bridge. Battle for your life! 

Patriarchy: Demonic 

Racism: Demonic 

Insecurity: Demonic 

Phobias: Demonic

At some point we all, except that one guy, ask ourselves: why we are born, and who am I? 

I believe we are fundamentally one being, different forms of God. God has no gender, both genders and the whole spectrum. Before God was our father, he was Mother Earth. Demonic Facist Christians would like to believe that God was never a women, despite making him a man. 

God is the rainbow of gray that unites black with white. God looks down on us, but he looks up at us taking the form of a roach hidden in the cupboards. 

Is it a sin to kill a human? Yes. Is it a sin to kill a bug? Debatable. 

What is evil killing some guy at a restaurant because he ate there.  The way some of y'all kill bugs is evil, like yeah what an asshole mosquito for biting me, but the foo was just hungry. Swatting bugs is not evil but it primes us for it. One day we're killing a mosquito, the next we're hating on fat people for displeasing our sensibilities, resisting the urge to slap away the same burger you just ordered. Letting that unnecessary hate consume you and your interactions with others. 

God is that voice that makes you realizes maybe the mosquito and you are ass-holy intwined. 

XVII. A Star is Born

I am unemployed, still have almost no money, and this is my current spiritual challange. I love my life, I don't want to get a real job, Mom!  

And this is true, I love my mom but we chose to have a relationship. Everyone in my life has given me shit about not wanting a real job, as I  increasingly show less and less desire for anything resembling a traditional career path.

The moment I gave up looking for a job, I actually started living and doing shit I wanted to do. I wanted so bad to have a normal life, But God keeps telling me it's not for me. 

I Door Dash to make ends meet and I am happier now than I was all of last year. I worked for Univision, that has been a dream of mine since I was 7. I did it, and honestly I still hold resentment towards that experience. Needless to say, I was not fortunate to be born to a supportive or rich family, not enough to work there. I also did not have the luxury of time. To be fair the company did not matter when everyone I loved would belittle me for accepting a low paying job.  

The goal is 8 figures, societal change, not no comfortable little life. Be grateful if God has blessed you with a simple career path though, because why whould anyone want to face poverty for the chance of a dream. 

I want to get paid for being pretty. God blessed me with a beauty that so many have tried to convince me was not there, and that I took the time to cultivate and believe it real. I can sing, act, write. I'm smart, creative, friendly. I was just fat, and now the 6 pack is a couple weeks down the road. I lost 60 lbs in 2 months, through a miracle and sacrificing my physical and emotional comfort. 

I am becoming better every day. A better singer, writer, actor, athlete, man- every day I choose to hone these skills God blessed me with at birth.

XVIII: Wait, a Homecoming to the Moon

I wrote this because I sound crazy trying to explain this verbally. I have ADHD, which is the best and worst gift. I feel like I get a taste of how God thinks sometimes, and it's too much to handle. I don't think it's a coincidences that more and more people are diagnosed.  

I'm grateful to be Javi, a reflection of God, another version of you. 

Spit on me, I like it cause it makes this time go faster.  :)         

For those who took the time, I hoped you learned nothing new, but remembered parts long forgotten. Amen. <3